


classmates

by revoleotion



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)
Genre: Awkwardness, Closeted Character, Crack Treated Seriously, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Relationship can be read as romantic or platonic, Student Exchange, set in 11 BBY
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26729620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revoleotion/pseuds/revoleotion
Summary: Eli Vanto isn't sure what to make of the partner he chose during the student exchange. He looks just like the kind of core-planet idiot he usually stays away from.But perhaps Enric Pryde isn't as bad as he looks like.(I found out that Eli is only one year older than Pryde and I couldn't let this pass.)
Relationships: Enric Pryde & Eli Vanto
Comments: 10
Kudos: 11





	1. 11 BBY

**Author's Note:**

> Eli is 17 in this, Pryde is 16. This is mostly based on Pryde's wiki, which states that he started advanced classes on Alskan on 11 BBY, which is where I set this one-shot. (Of course he had a few weeks/months of classes but he's rather inexperienced in this.)  
> This isn't planned to be shippy but maybe they can be each other's bi awakening, who knows. It will turn a little more angsty in later chapters but for now it's just awkward. I will add warnings in the notes to follow, don't worry.  
> Now, enjoy!

He wasn't the last one to arrive but also by far not the first one. The lab was a little bigger than Eli’s usual classrooms, the walls were white and paved with Imperial posters and expensive drawings. One wall was empty, except for the huge Empire emblem covering it from top to bottom. Every single table was taken already, but since they were supposed to work in pairs, Eli now had the honor of choosing his partner. A boy in the corner of the room caught his eyes, a tall human who had looked up when he heard him enter. 

He looked a little older than him, with blue eyes that were so intense that Eli felt like he knew every shameful thought that had ever crossed his mind. He walked up to him, unsure if this was the right decision or not. The goal was to finish the tasks presented on a computer as a pair. They had all weekend and once their time limit was over, everyone who had passed was going to get a certificate that was supposed to be very useful for their further career. Eli just had to pick someone smart, then it was going to be fine. 

He stopped at the boy’s table and put on his nicest smile. 

“Hi there, I'm Eli. Is that seat taken?” 

The boy shook his head. 

“Enric,” he said when Eli sat down next to him. “Please tell me you know how to use a computer.” 

It took Eli every bit of self control not to get up and leave. This had happened too many times, with too many people, core planet snobs who thought themselves better than a wild-space boy. He was so sick of the joke that he felt a sour taste in his mouth. People heard his accent and immediately started assuming. 

“Why shouldn't I?” he snapped. 

“That may be a little embarrassing,” Enric started, intense blue eyes still fixated on him. Nothing in his calm voice had changed. Perhaps he hadn’t even noticed how upset Eli was. “I'm not too good with numbers. I always try my best but it’s really not my area of expertise.” 

“Oh.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah. Oh,” Eli repeated. 

“Stars, you didn't think I-” the boy started and glanced at the computer before looking back at Eli, not without effort. A shameful, embarrassed smile had settled into his face and rendered him younger than he was. 

“No,” Eli was quick to say. 

“I'm sorry, you must've heard that a lot-” 

“It's okay.” 

Enric took a deep breath. His smile became a little more honest, yet his eyes continued to be intense. Perhaps this was just the way he was. Intense. 

“I apologize. It's my first year, I'm from Alsakan but please don't take me for one of those typical core-world people…” He trailed off, now staring down on his hands. He had long fingers, slender, fragile ones that looked like they belonged on a music instrument, not a computer keyboard. Everything about him seemed out of place, or maybe he fit into place too well. A parody of what a student in the Empire could be. And despite his fancy clothing or the way he had styled his hair, he was younger than Eli, and less experienced. 

They were going to fail this group project, Eli thought and almost laughed at how desperate he felt. Of course he had to pick an complete idiot, not to mention a first semester. 

No. That wasn't fair. He didn't know Enric. He may look like a core-world idiot but that didn't mean he was one. 

“Yeah, sure. It's the… outfit, I think,” Eli muttered. That, or his eyes but he sure as hell wasn't going to mention those. The boy had made an effort to look like everyone else in this seminar, but it was obvious that his clothing had better quality than the regular student. 

“Is there something wrong with it?” Enric asked, fear in his voice even though he tried hard to hide it. 

“No, no, it's nice.” 

“Oh, thank you. I've been worrying about it all day.” 

Of course he was more worried about the things he was wearing than the task at hand. Eli swallowed the ugly feeling in his chest and cleared his throat. He shouldn't judge the boy like this, it wasn't fair. If Enric turned out to be as stupid as Eli thought he was, fair. But not yet. Not now. 

“Alright, I can do the computer part, no problem. But you have to write the protocol, then.” 

“I'm good at that,” Enric promised. He pulled out a datapad that looked like it did cost more than Eli's life and fumbled with his bag until he managed to find a pen designed to write on the datapad's surface. It looked expensive as well but Enric had taped a miniature horse-figure to the top that stared at Eli with cold, dead eyes when Enric started writing. 

“Horses, eh?” Eli asked. 

He would never get rid of that image ever again. Enric, hair and uniform so carefully styled that he might as well be a service droid, pulling out a kriffing horse pen. 

The boy blushed at Eli's comment. He ripped the figure off the pen, stuffed it back into his bag and used the zipper with enough force to break it. He refused to look at Eli and stared down on the empty surface of his datapad like it was the most interesting thing in the galaxy. So much for starting a conversation. 

Eli rolled his eyes and tried to decipher the code for their assignment. When he started working, a little timer appeared in the corner of the computer screen, informing him that he had two days left. There were ten tasks scheduled, although the screen didn’t tell him the nature of said tasks. 

Whoever had the idea for this student exchange hopefully had already been kicked off a ship into the void of space already. Thankfully it wasn't hosted on a wild space planet, rather in the outer rim, where wild space and the core planets met. Eli had assumed that this could be useful but he had done a lot more difficult tasks in his classes at home. This was a weekend he was never going to get back, he might as well get done with it. 

He finished off the coding task in a few minutes and then attempted to explain to Enric what he had done. The boy nodded a few times and took notes that Eli prayed were good enough to make them pass the seminar. 

“The next task is about managing the finances in a fictional company, fucking hell, I left my bed for this.” 

Enric leaned closer, close enough for Eli to smell his perfume. Because  _ of course _ he used perfume. At least it was a nice scent, still, Eli hated the distraction. 

“Are you good at this?” Enric asked. 

“Why wouldn't I? Because I think we established that I may be from fucking wild space but I just solved the first task, so maybe you keep that bullshit to yourself next time,” Eli said. He couldn't help it, the distrust and dislike for Enric were all too audible in his voice. He bit the inside of his mouth to stop himself but the words already were out in the open. 

Enric looked like Eli had just punched in the face. 

“I-” he attempted, stopped talking again and leaned back in his chair. His expression was blank and he rubbed his knuckles together in his lap, obviously very uncomfortable with himself. 

The anger in Eli's chest got replaced with guilt. He sighed, threw a careful look at the boy. 

“Why did you ask, anyway?” 

“I wasn't sure how to take your comment. Do you consider this seminar a waste of time?” Enric was back to his calm tone, and while he may be offended or at least hurt by Eli's tantrum, he didn't show it anymore. 

“Yeah, I'm good at it,” Eli said. “My family does this for a living.” 

“Oh. I'm sorry.” 

Enric shouldn't be the one to apologize but Eli found it impossible to say that. 

“Okay, what I'm going to do first is try to find a pattern, see? Like this.” He pointed at a group of numbers on the screen. 

Enric frowned. “I don't see it, no.” 

It took him ten minutes to see it, and ten more to figure out the next pattern by himself. Eli watched him, the way he narrowed his eyes and bit his lip in an attempt to get everything right the first time. Once he was finished, he scribbled down the notes on his datapad and looked up to Eli with a smile. 

“Thank you,” he said, and despite his clipped accent, the clothes and his stupid perfume he wasn't too bad. 

“Next task, I guess,” Eli said, only to say something. Enric seemed to be glad for the small talk, he nodded and grabbed the datapad a little tighter as they waited. 

The next task was about politics. 

“Yikes.” 

“Excuse me?” Enric asked. He looked at Eli with confusion all over his pretty face. 

“I said, yikes.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“That I am overall discontent with this situation.” 

Enric needed a few seconds to take it in, then he nodded and smiled. “I will remember that. Yikes.” 

Oh no. 

Eli inhaled, then realized that he had no idea how to explain that this wasn't something he should say in front of anyone else. Then again, it was going to be fun to see the boy say that to a professor. Sometimes, the only revenge backwater planet people had was introducing their slang to innocent core-worlders - and then watching the chaos unfold. 

“May I?” Enric had leaned closer again, close enough for their shoulders to touch. It took Eli a second to realize that he wanted to do the task. 

“You sure?” Eli asked. 

Enric shot him a look so intense that Eli found it hard to breathe. He then smiled, and that didn't make breathing any easier. 

“I'm sure,” Enric said. “Because I'm good at that.” 

Eli moved to the side and let the boy take over. The expression on Enric's face was similar, yet worlds apart from what he had seen earlier. What had been quiet ambition, the urge to do everything right, was now passion, unfolding in the most pure way. Maybe this was how Eli looked like when he worked with numbers. Maybe this was how people looked at when they were at their best. 

Once Enric was done analyzing, he wrote down his conclusions. Not once did he look at Eli. Perhaps he didn't want to be interrupted. Perhaps he had forgotten Eli was there in the first place. 

Which meant Eli had nothing better to do than to watch him while he wrote on his datapad. His notes looked more organized then Eli had first expected. He had attempted to make a flowchart with instructions and conclusions but it was slowly becoming a full-blown graphic. 

“Is something wrong?” Enric asked without looking up. 

“Oh,” Eli said. “No. Do you want to take a lunch break after this?”

“Do you want to eat lunch with me?” Enric asked. He tried to sound unfazed and confident but his insecurity was painfully obvious. Eli had to hide a smile. 

“Why the hell not? You seem nice.”

Enric’s pale cheeks turned red. He locked the datapad and pressed it against his chest, took a few deep breaths and nodded. The way he acted, Eli suddenly had the feeling that he had invited him to a date. 

Was this considered a date by core-world standards? 

“As friends,” Eli added. 

“Yes,” Enric replied. “Of course.”


	2. 11 BBY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are getting more tragic in this but I expected this to happen.  
> Enjoy!

Enric was a slow eater but not as picky as Eli would’ve expected. He took a bit of everything in the cantina and then spent about an hour slowly working through his plate. Eli had never felt inappropriate for the way he ate but he came very close when he saw Enric picking up everything, even pizza, with a fork. 

“Sorry,” Enric said when he noticed Eli staring at him. 

“Don’t worry about it.”

Eli looked around the cantina but looked away very quickly when he heard a “what are you looking at?”, followed by a slur that made Eli flinch. This was why it was a bad idea to invite people from all social classes. Everyone was looking for a way to feel superior, and Eli couldn’t say that he was exempt from this. He acted arrogant at times, he felt better than others for understanding numbers. They were all arrogant teenagers but something about people making fun of him for the way he looked or spoke didn’t sit right with Eli. 

“Yikes,” Enric said under his breath. 

Eli looked over to him. He had expected him to be busy eating but apparently he had caught the slur. He had put down his fork and got up in a smooth movement that reminded Eli of a predator he had seen in an animal documentary. His blue eyes scanned the cantina until he had found his target. 

“What are you doing?” Eli asked. 

“Do we have a problem?” Enric asked loudly into the general direction of the slur. 

“I wasn’t talking to you, Pryde,” a student said. “I meant your boyfriend over there.”

Eli looked up to Enric. He expected disgust at the suggestion that he may be gay but appart from the slight red tint on his cheeks, Enric remained calm and stoic. 

“The way I see it, if you have a problem with my partner, you have a problem with me. How can I help you?”

“All those advanced classes on Alsakan and that’s who you befriend?”

Enric’s eyes narrowed, just enough for Eli to notice. He fixed his hair that didn’t need fixing, looked down on his plate and sat down again. 

“Don’t bother,” Eli said. 

“He’s my classmate, I expected him to be better,” Enric said. For the first time, Eli could hear anger in his voice. 

“Well, sometimes people are just assholes. You know what that word means, I hope.”

“I do.”

“I was joking.”

Enric smiled to himself. It took Eli several seconds to recover from this smile. He was in trouble, he decided. 

“So, advanced classes?” Eli asked when they were back at their working station. Enric was sorting through task no. 4, another political one where they had to answer questions about the Republic. Enric answered the questions with little effort and skipped the notes this time since this task didn’t require explaining. 

“Hm?” Enric asked. 

“He said you were taking advanced classes.”

They didn’t even offer this on Lysatra but this wasn’t Enric’s fault. Eli was forced to sit in class with everybody else, and most of the time everybody else was a lot slower than Eli. He spent most of his classes in the first row doing smalltalk with his professors after he finished his tasks. And this was great but he still wished he had classes that actually did something for him. 

“I got advanced placement in my qualification exam,” Enric confirmed. 

“Oh. Wow. Congrats.”

Enric smiled to himself but didn’t say anything else. Despite not being very hard, the history questions took them almost all afternoon. After that Eli got to work on another math related question until dinnertime. 

Five out of ten questions sounded good enough for Eli but Enric didn’t move when he got up for dinner. 

“We can do the rest tomorrow,” Eli said. “Really.”

“I’d like to finish early.”

A pause. Eli waited a few seconds but Enric didn’t catch what he just said. Maybe it was for the best not to explain this kind of humor to him. 

“They’re going to lock the lab for the night, anyway. Com’on.”

Enric blinked. “That-”

“It means come on. Hurry up. I heard they’re serving chicken nuggets.”

Enric did not know what a chicken nugget was. Still, when Eli pressured him to take the maximum number of pieces, he followed the order and carried the plate to their table. 

“Look, they're little horses,” he informed Eli. For once, he looked like a teenager, a silly, stupid teenager who got excited about horse shaped chicken nuggets. 

“Yeah,” Eli said. “Try them.” 

“I can't eat them, they're _tiny horses_.” 

“For fuck's sake, Enric, eat your kriffing chicken nuggets.” 

Eli found himself trapped in a staring contest with the prettiest blue eyes he had ever encountered. He didn't even care about losing. If Enric refused the nuggets, Eli could eat them, that’s why he had forced him to take them. The contest was over as quickly as it started. Enric blushed at something Eli could only guess, looked down on his plate and ignored Eli's careful, “You okay?” 

It was a silent dinner and the worst part was that Enric seemed to take even longer than with his lunch. Eli gave up looking around the room but he didn’t want to watch Enric either. 

“You okay?” he asked again and only got a nod in return. 

“Because you don’t really seem-”

Enric looked up, making it very hard for Eli to finish his sentence. He accepted that this was going to be dinner, him trying to find a way to pass time and Enric sulking on his seat. The boy didn’t even finish half of his nuggets but at this point Eli didn’t want to ask for them either. 

Eli hoped for more smalltalk before bed but instead he got more of Enric’s questionable silence. 

“But it was nothing I said, right?” Eli asked when he climbed into his bed. 

He had been relieved when he had seen Enric’s name on the door right above his, and that they were going to be on their own. Enric had traced his own name with his fingertips before pushing the door open. 

The room had two beds, a drawer with enough space to fit Eli’s entire wardrobe, and a bathroom next door. After exchanging one look, Eli had thrown himself onto the bed right at the door and had effectively claimed it. Enric had slowly walked towards his bed and sat down on it with a lot more grace, and he hadn’t moved ever since. Someone had looked after them and had told them to turn off the lights, and, naturally, half an hour had passed since that and the lights were still on. 

Enric was still sitting on the edge of his own bed and now combed through his hair with his fingers. He did it enough times for Eli to recognize it as nervousness. 

“No,” he said, finally, but that was all he offered. 

“So you’re not mad?” Eli asked. 

“I am not mad,” Enric confirmed. 

“And you are not sad either,” Eli continued. 

“No, I am not. My current emotional state has nothing to do with you. I am sorry if it seemed that way.”

There was something in the way he said it, the way he tried to be calm and rational, while his voice was still painfully young. It was the first time Eli got a sense of the immense loneliness that seemed to follow Enric Pryde around with every step. It was more than a sixteen-year-old should feel, or perhaps even more than any human should feel ever. 

Enric dropped his hands into his lap at last. 

“I’m going to take a shower,” he informed Eli and got up. Eli followed his movements with his eyes until he reached the bathroom. 

He used the time to get dressed for bed and to charge his datapad. When Enric returned, his dark hair was damp and clung onto his pale face. He avoided looking at Eli when he walked to his bed and only mumbled as much as, “Good night” when he sat down. 

“You too, sleep well,” Eli said. 

Enric was already asleep when he returned, or maybe he just pretended like he was. If so, he did a good job at it. Eli looked at him for longer than he’d like to admit, and wondered how a teenager could be so lonely and calm and sad - and if there ever had been a time where he hadn’t been like that. 

He woke up to someone sobbing in their sleep. Eli blinked up to the ceiling and gave himself a couple of seconds to decide if he really cared for this, then he felt terrible about himself and got up. Enric had pulled up his blanket to his chin and had turned onto his side, facing the wall. What Eli could see of his back was shaking, and he sounded like he was in pain. 

“Enric,” he said. 

No reaction, of course not. 

“Enric,” he tried again. 

When he reached for the boy's shoulder, Enric grabbed his wrist and squeezed it, hard. Pain shot through his body but when Eli pulled back, the grip got even tighter. 

“Ouch, what-” Eli started but stopped talking when he looked into piercing, still half-asleep blue eyes. Enric blinked, looked down on Eli's wrist, then back up into his eyes. 

“Why did you touch me?” he asked. Despite his calm voice he didn't sound like himself. He sounded harsh, like he was judging Eli for waking him up. It was only after a few seconds that he let go of his arm. 

“You were crying,” Eli said and carefully massaged his wrist. Enric looked at him like he was seeing him for the first time. 

“And?” 

“And? You sounded like you had a nightmare, what else was I supposed to do?” 

“Eli, that's normal,” Enric said, not even in an arrogant way. He sounded rather surprised that Eli would do something so foolish, that Eli didn't know better. No matter how ecstatic Eli felt hearing his own name from the other boy, this wasn't the way he wanted it. 

“I beg to differ.” 

“Then beg.” 

Fair enough. Eli sighed, sat down on the boy's bed without bothering for permission and looked right into the fierce blue eyes he could never forget ever again. 

“What's so bad about your life that it gives you nightmares you consider normal?” he asked. 

Enric raised an eyebrow. “Training? Surely it's the same for everyone. I just need a semester or so, then I'll get used to it.” 

“Get used to _what_? Do they torture you? Because that does not sound normal.” 

“It’s not torture,” Enric muttered. He rubbed his eyes and sat up to make room for Eli. Eli decided that he could feel embarrassed about this in the morning, so he moved back until their shoulders touched. He pretended not to notice that Enric was shaking. After a while the boy leaned his head on Eli’s shoulder. When he spoke up again, his voice had lost every hint of emotion, it was numb and sounded like he had given up. 

“We have this tradition involving sticks, a disciplinary measure. It’s hard to get used to it but I will do it one day.”

This didn’t feel right. No, it felt wrong, really wrong. 

“Do you want me to stay with you?” Eli asked. 

No matter how long he waited, Enric didn’t offer a reply. But he calmed down after a few minutes and then fell asleep, his head still on Eli’s shoulder. 


	3. 5 BBY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We interrupt this very touching moment for a different timeline because if Chaos Rising is allowed to do that, so am I. (Any Sy Bisti translations will be Chinese until further notice, because it looked similar enough and I am able to speak Chinese. Unlike Sy Bisti which I do not speak. Yeah.)  
> Enjoy!

“She's amazing,” Pryde says. He's a blurry blue silhouette on Eli's comlink but something tells him that his eyes are still piercing, blue and intense. He's smiling, the happiness is all over his face. 

“She? Don't tell me you got a _girlfriend_ ,” Eli jokes, although he can already tell it's not that. No, Pryde is happy because of the ship he got stationed on. He graduated a semester after Eli, naturally, and judging by the excited texts Eli had gotten during the ceremony, he had graduated with honors. 

“Tell me, how is it with the alien?” the man continues. “Still giving you a hard time? I could convince the Captain to pay you a visit, I'm sure I'll find a reason.” 

That's nice and Eli has to hide a smile when he hears it. That's the Pryde he remembers, no matter how much distance is between them. 

“No need. He's doing his best.” 

“He better. You get to work with your numbers soon enough, Eli. There's nothing stopping you from getting what you want.” 

Sure. Nothing but a 2 meter tall alien who has decided to take Eli's life and pretend like he can play chess with it. But Pryde doesn't have to know that. People like Pryde take every bad alien as a reason to hate _all_ aliens. If Eli had to pick one thing he dislikes about Pryde, it’s probably that. The lingering scent of core-planet privilege that Pryde would feel very bad about if Eli reminded him it exists. It will probably always stay with him in one way or another. But Pryde is trying, and that’s all that counts to Eli. 

“Who's that?” a voice asks from the back. 

Eli freezes mid-smile, frowns and slowly turns around. 

“A friend,” he tells Thrawn. 

“It's a pleasure. I've heard so much,” Pryde's hologram says, smooth, calm and polite as ever. But of course Pryde would be the last person to admit that Eli may have complained a little. 

“I can't say the same,” Thrawn says. Eli wants to kill him, if only for a moment. To be honest, completely honest, he hasn’t even thought about Pryde ever since he first met Thrawn. Something about the Chiss pushed everything away, leaving Eli’s past a faint memory. 

“Thrawn, Enric Pryde. Enric, Thrawn. I'm sure you can catch up another time,” he tells the two and prays to every higher power he knows that Thrawn will understand the cue to leave. 

He doesn't. 

“Pryde? You must be stationed on the _Steadfast_.” 

“Oh. Yes.” Pryde sounds taken aback but doesn't lose the politeness. If anything, he sounds curious now. 

No distrust for aliens. Not once. Only the same curiosity that Eli has felt burning in his chest ever since he met Thrawn. He sees it in Enric Pryde’s eyes too, while he continues talking like nothing happened. He, too, wonders how Thrawn got his information, but he manages to keep it deep down in the back of his mind. 

“Like I've just been telling Eli, she's wonderful. I can't wait to have many successful missions with her.”

“I'm sure you're going to do great,” Eli says. 

Pryde turns around to something off screen, nods and turns back to Eli. 

“That's my exit. See you soon?” 

“See you soon.” 

Pryde hangs up first, leaving the comlink empty and Eli missing him more than he'd like to admit. It’s embarrassing, in a way he can never tell anyone. He has almost forgotten that Pryde exists and now he misses him. 

“His eyes,” Thrawn says. “They were, err, _chumu_.” 

“Striking,” Eli translates without thinking much about it. He never considered him well versed in Sy Bisti but after his brain offered him a translation for “preemptive strikes”, he reevaluated his skills. Maybe he is better at languages than he had thought. 

“I’d be careful around him,” Thrawn says. 

“Excuse me?”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“That’s my friend,” Eli says. He doesn’t like his tone but he doesn’t like Thrawn’s either. Of course he just wants to warn him. Because Thrawn doesn’t “do” friends, he doesn’t have friends. Eli isn’t even sure if he likes anyone. 

“And I simply advise you to be careful around him. He doesn’t question the Empire.”

“Well, neither do I,” Eli snaps. He’s being rude, he’s fully aware of that. Thrawn’s expression doesn’t change. He keeps looking at him with endless calmness that is so different from Pryde’s. 

“You question everything,” Thrawn says. “I like that about you.”

No matter how hard he tries, Eli can’t even think of an answer. He just stares at Thrawn, a man he trusts, for a reason he hasn’t understood yet. 


	4. 11 BBY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter features something that happened to me in real life. Like Eli in this, I wasn't sure how to react to it when it happened. I want to tell every queer person reading this that it's okay to come out. Or not. Don't be ashamed of who you are because others make your coming out about themselves. Your identity is valid.  
> You will find someone who loves you for who you are. Some people come around later. Some don't. When I first came out to my dad, he insisted on keeping it a secret because it could make others uncomfortable. Recently he told me that he's proud of the way I learnt to be confident with my gender expression.  
> Now that this is out of the way, have fun with this chapter!  
> \- ben/eli

When he woke up, Enric was gone. Eli felt his absence like it was a physical punch to his stomach or a gaping hole in his shoulder, right where his head had been, just moments ago. Or not moments, he thought, because it's already morning. Upon inspecting the room, Enric's sleeping wear was a neatly folded pile at the bottom of his bed but the lights in the bathroom weren’t on either. The cold ground stabbed his feet when he made his first steps but he got used to it a few seconds later. 

“Enric?” he called, his voice still tired and hoarse. Sleep still clung to him but he couldn’t remember what he had dreamed. No answer, not that he had expected one. Enric was gone. 

He wasn't at breakfast either, which forced Eli to sit alone. When nobody was looking, he wrapped two sandwiches into a napkin and let the improvised package slide into the pocket of his uniform. Just in case. He halfway expected to be forced to do the rest of the tasks alone. Part of him believed that Enric had been an illusion that disappeared just when he had started to like him. 

The illusion theory turned out to be false when he entered the working lab and found Enric on his seat. Something about him seemed off, although it couldn't be his hair or the uniform, both of those things looked as perfect as ever. 

It was his eyes, the way he looked at Eli without seeing him. 

“You okay?” Eli asked. 

“No,” Enric replied. 

Then he smiled, and Eli wondered if he was allowed to feel the dread in his chest. He hadn't thought about boys that way ever before. He had never looked at anyone long enough to be so aware of their features, of the way they breathed, the way their muscles in their face worked when they talked. 

“I brought you breakfast,” Eli said. 

“Is that allowed?” 

“Probably not.” 

Enric took a look at the sandwiches and something in his pale face softened when he grabbed one of them. 

“Did you work on the tasks?” Eli asked, the exact same second Enric said, “I'm homosexual.” 

Eli had no idea how to respond to this. His father had once told him about the time a coworker had come out to him, and how uncomfortable he had felt with it. 

_ “I wish he hadn't told me,”  _ he had said, his eyes fixed on his cup of caff. Eli had noticed that his expression was blank, like part of him knew he was in the wrong but he didn't want to admit it.  _ “He wanted a reaction from me but all I wanted was to have things the way they were before. I didn't want to know about his private life.” _

Back then, Eli had nodded. He had felt a weird pain in his stomach, like he had copied and stolen the coworkers feelings about this. He had never been the kind of person to share his personal thoughts with his parents. There weren't many, anyway. After hearing this, he had decided to never think about that pain ever again. 

But it was back, paired with nervousness. He couldn't do the same thing his father had done. Eli understood that he couldn't treat something that clearly distressed Enric like it was going to destroy their friendship. 

“You don't have to feel bad about that,” Eli said. 

“But I like you.” 

“Good thing I like you too.” 

Enric rolled his eyes and stared at the computer for a couple of seconds. Whenever he was sure nobody was looking, he ducked his head down and took a bite of the sandwich. It was almost adorable, if it weren't for the frustrated look on his face. 

“Why wouldn't I like you? You don't make fun of me, you are very polite, you smell nice…” 

“I smell nice?” Enric asked. His voice broke but what Eli feared were tears turned out to be a nervous giggle. 

“You do.” 

“That's very good to know.” 

A pause. Enric giggled for a few more seconds, then he stopped and took a deep breath. 

“Yes, I worked on the tasks,” he said. “I couldn't sleep, so I went into the lab right after they unlocked it.” 

Eli decided that he had done a good job at handling this. Enric seemed relaxed enough, almost happy after he finished his breakfast and moved over to let Eli look over what he had written so far. It was a battle strategy thing, something that Eli wasn't bad at but Enric was obviously better. 

Maybe they were just really good at it or the planning had miscalculated how much time they'd need for the tasks. Enric clicked “submit” right before lunch. The screen thanked them for participating and then stayed this way. 

“That was anticlimactic,” Enric commented. 

Eli had no idea what that meant. 

“I guess that's it? I hope they'll print out a nice certificate.” 

“In color,” Enric said and laughed like this was an inside joke between him and the universe. Why should Eli feel uncomfortable around someone who was just trying his best? Why should his sexuality change anything? 

Enric switched to small talk during lunch, obviously a lot more content now that Eli knew his secret. He rambled about his home planet, about the local animals and how excited he was to be stationed on a ship later. He talked about Empire Day, his favorite time of the year, about the fireworks his family set up every time and about the food and parades and everything Eli's wild space planet didn't take too seriously. 

He didn't talk about whatever caused his nightmares. But that felt okay, he was talking and that was enough for Eli. 

He didn't feel like he had a right to know, anyway. He knew Enric for one and a half days. He had seen more of him than he'd seen of many of his classmates. Or anyone, really. 

Since they were already finished with their tasks, they were allowed back in their rooms. Enric spent the time packing his things while Eli enjoyed the fact that he hadn’t unpacked his belongings in the first place. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Enric asked, halfway through folding a pair of socks. He folded them, quite literally, instead of turning one of them inside out and stuffing the other one into it. 

“Sure,” Eli said. 

“Why are you so okay with this?”

“Huh?”

Enric raised an eyebrow at that slang but continued like Eli hadn’t said anything. 

“I told you that I may like you. Isn’t that considered inappropriate?”

“Not really?” Eli asked. “It’s probably like one of the things you’re not allowed to make fun of officially. Like wild space kids. There technically isn’t anything wrong with where I was born or how I sound. Yet there’s always someone who finds a way to judge me for it.”

Enric winced at that even though he hadn’t judged Eli for his accent once. Perhaps he just hadn’t said it out loud. 

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” Eli said, a little louder. 

“Thank you,” Enric said. 

Eli glanced at his lips, a face he grew used to way too quickly, then back up into the boy’s eyes. He had never thought about kissing another boy before, at least not like this. 


	5. 0 BBY (a few months before project stardust destroys Alderaan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is heavy. I got carried away with it.  
> warnings for this: assumed character death and self harm (of sorts)
> 
> Like in chapter 3, the Steadfast mentioned in this isn't the one Pryde has in TROS. It's his first one, the one the TROS Steadfast is named after. Also also, this chapter is set in the year Hux was born! This is irrelevant but I wanted you to know.

Enric Pryde loves the _Steadfast_. This isn't a secret to anyone on the Imperial Star Destroyer, they started talking about it the moment he first saw the ship and whispered, “This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen”. The rumors about his asexuality never vanished after that but Enric can't say that he cares about this. 

He cares about the safety of his ship. And he cares about the fact that he has tried to reach Eli for months now, with no luck. It's not his communication device, it's not the frequency either. He always gets through to the _Chimaera_ , the last ship Eli Vanto had joined, but nobody takes the call. 

Needless to say, Enric is scared. He doesn't have many friends. Brendol doesn't count. He doesn't even like Brendol. And now that his son is born, he doesn't expect many calls from Brendol anyways. Maratelle is something else, and Enric doesn't expect her to have time anyway, with a newborn baby to care for. No, he has never enjoyed calling Arkanis if there's no guarantee that Maratelle answers. 

Calling Eli has always been different. He understands what Enric feels even before he tells him. And Enric liked to be there for him, to make his disappointment a little better. Eli didn't want to become a translator for an alien. He wanted to do something for the Empire, something he's good at. 

Enric understands, to some degree, that Eli doesn't feel the same way about the Empire as he does. To Enric, the Empire is fireworks and structure, seeing everything work out. He has always been a fan of Emperor Palpatine, to the point of collecting pictures of him in his senator years. But Eli has always been loyal, that's what counts. 

He can't be dead. He can't be gone. 

So, Enric tries. And he tries again. Until, one day, the call gets through. 

But it's not Eli who answers. 

“Lieutenant Vanto isn't with the _Chimaera_ anymore,” the alien tells him. 

Even as a hologram, Thrawn is intimidating. He's tall, possibly even taller than Enric, and his glowing eyes translate very well onto the comlink. 

“I'm sorry?” Enric asks. “Why did he leave his comm then?” 

A pause. 

And suddenly it hits him. Enric feels something running down his cheeks, salty when it reaches his mouth. He clenches his hands into fists until his manicured nails dig deep into his palms. 

“What happened? Why did nobody tell me? I'm his friend, why did nobody inform me, he- he can't be dead. You didn't lose a battle, I kept watch for you, you can't. You had no right to keep this from me-” 

The alien just stares at him. Enric tries to swallow the words but they keep building up, just to die on his tongue. More tears, he can't help it. For a moment, a short moment, he hates the Empire. 

“Or maybe he isn't dead,” Enric whispers to himself. “He's undercover. He has to be.” 

The silence is starting to get uncomfortable but Thrawn doesn't hang up on him. He just looks at him, head tilted, eyes calm and everything Enric tries to be right now but can't. 

“You don't have to trust me,” he starts and interrupts himself when a desperate sob reaches the surface. He digs his fingernails even deeper until the skin rips apart and reveals blood. “I have to know what happened to him, please.” 

Enric has never once begged in his life. He doesn't beg when he's in pain, he doesn't beg when he's captured. He doesn't beg in front of rebels, in front of his superiors. He didn't beg when he met Vader and saw how he squeezed the throats of Enric's colleagues. His unfazed, calm attitude has brought him where he is now. Vader had not once attacked him. Not even when he had to deliver bad news. Because Enric isn't scared of anyone. 

But this isn't about Enric. This is about Eli Vanto and if begging gives him as much as a _clue_ where he is, Enric is going to take it. 

“I do not have this information,” Thrawn offers after something that feels like an eternity. 

Enric exhales. All for nothing, he thinks. 

“Please,” he says, one more time. 

The hologram vanishes. Enric looks down on his bleeding hands. It takes him more than a couple of minutes until he stops crying, and half an hour until he feels presentable again.

**Author's Note:**

> As per usual, comments and kudos inspire me to write more. Come yell at me about this on Twitter (@enby_eli) or instagram (@armitagescat) if you want to. Or not.  
> \- ben/eli


End file.
